Monday, November 26, 2007

Emotional Maturity

A long conversation with Ishmael today revealed a few things that I believe about maturity. You see, I pride myself on being somebody who is "mature," without ever bothering to define that nebulous concept. I should probably start at the very beginning.

Ishmael is not a perfect person. Nobody is. He has his own quirks that could make even the most dedicated of pursuers reconsider his merits. One such is his immense fear of commitment. While it naturally has a roost in a series of difficult life events, it's still remarkably frustrating. It was while we were discussing such things that I had this epiphany about maturity. I once believed that it was placing the needs of another above yourself, and always being understanding.

Now, I understand that that is incorrect. Maturity means looking out for yourself as well, and acknowledging that at a given point, you cannot continue to be understanding; you have to ask for yourself as well. Achieving this balance where you can both understand and be compassionate while still asking and being honestly deliberately forward is what I would call a perfect end goal for emotional maturity, and I hope it's where I'm headed right now.

Thursday, November 8, 2007

Call him Ishmael

Well, maybe not quite. A far better literary representation of him would probably be... well, I can't think of a good one. Sufficeth to say that I've found myself a boy. He's... intoxicating. Different than anybody else I've ever been with. We'll call him Ishmael though, just because it's what I want to use.

I met him a couple of weeks ago at work, just smiling and stuff, and then he gave me his number and things went from there. We hang out a lot, anymore, and every time I come away from spending time with him I feel elated. I like the way he makes me feel.

Anyway, this would be the latest update in the life of Stephen would be the entry of a new character, and hopefully Ishmael is around to stay. I'm not quite sure how to say that we have sex, so I'll just out and say it. He's pretty much the best lay of any boy I've ever been with, although not the best kisser. Trainable though. The big thing that kind of bugs me about him is his massive fear of commitment. I mean, his last boyfriend hurt him pretty badly, but even so. We've been dating for almost three weeks now, and we're still not boyfriends, rather "namelesses." I don't like that. At all. Commitment without a title is still commitment, but... just not the same.

Anyway, I guess the point is that a part of my new life here in Florida will very well involve a love life with a boy, and hopefully that boy is Ishmael.

In other news, a friend of mine and I were discussing renewing the underwear conversation, so that the merits of CK Trunks versus A&F Boxers could be debated. Which do you prefer for yourself? For another boy?


I like that fact that being a Moho whore is considered better than being a Homo...